You know you're a backpacker when . . .

-you can identify people's incomes by their smell.
-the smell of wet wipes turns you on.
-you see water pouring out of a statue and get really excited.
-you decide what beer to buy based on price and quantity, not quality.
-you spend more on liquid than lodging.
-your idea of a good time is taking a nap.
-you try to find the worst location to eat, because that's all you can afford.
-seeing a lot of pigeons is suddenly a good thing.
-every guy who walks by seems gorgeous. (Monaca's addition)
-you start throwing away clothes, etc., because it makes your bag lighter.
-you have no trouble falling asleep on the floor of an airport.
-your most common phrase is "Parla inglese?"
-dirty lake water actually looks refreshing.
-you cry with joy at the sight of towels and sheets.
-beer is cheaper than soda--and tastes better.
-you give people several options when asking what language they speak.
-you can barely resist the urge to "fall" into every fountain you see.
-you can identify the city in which you received each injury.
-you have no trouble finishing 1.5 liters of water in a few minutes.
-you actually consider peeing into a jar on a crowded bus.
-when the guy at the hotel tells you you can leave your bags there all day, you have to resist the urge to hug him, and you want to take a picture with him. After all, he's the nicest person in the world.
-you'd rather shower than eat.
-you want to write the editors of Let's Go and thank them for saving your life.
-you rejoice at the sight of one small toilet in a room the size of a closet.
-you've memorized the phone number for a calling card you can only use in one country.
-you can recognize dog species by their poop.
-you don't care if people bump into you, as long as their limbs don't stick to yours.
-you know how to say "exit" in at least four languages.
-you stop wishing your liquids were cold and just start wishing you had liquid.
-the feel of air conditioning coming out of a shop you can't afford seems cruel.
-you get really excited when a hotel has A/C, and for minutes on end you stare at the little oscillating mechanism on the unit.
-you start feeling like other people sleeping in the airport are family.
-eating at a restaurant for the first time in a week makes you just about die with gustatory delight.
-raw gnocchi, lettuce, green olives, and a plastic-wrapped slab of cheese make two meals.