Tuesday, May 12, 2009


I'm thinking of developing a new Web site, maps.steve.com. It will be an extremely accurate site for finding directions from wherever you are to anywhere else in the world, including Kathmandu.

Unlike the well known Google Maps, Stevegle Maps will not provide satellite imagery, because it will not be based on actual photos or mathematical surveying of areas.

Instead, Stevegle Maps will be based entirely on Steve's uncanny ability to find his way to specific locations (including picnic benches) in cities where he's never been before.

Looking for a Singaporean restaurant in suburban Knoxville, TN? No problem! Consult Stevegle Maps! Steve will just "have this feeling" that the restaurant is 5.43 miles northeast of your current location (which he will divine without you having to tell him). And he'll just "get the impression" that to get there, you should turn right at the next street, and two blocks down there "should" be a road running diagonally across said street. This road will lead you over train tracks (which he "just knows" are there). You could keep going on this road, but Steve is "pretty sure" that there will be construction and potholes and roadkill to avoid. So he'll direct you to park your car next to the train tracks and follow a wild-boar path through the woods. This path will lead right to the front door of your destination. Steve may even be able to tell you what specials the restaurant is offering that night. Wild boar, perhaps.

I sense that perhaps a Faustian deal was struck in order for him to receive this supernatural gift.

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