Wednesday, December 7, 2005

What Wendy Needs

I steal most of my good blogging ideas from Julie and Mike. Here’s a great one: Google “[your name] needs” and copy down the best results. Here’s are my results. There were so many good ones that I made several categories.

I’ve also got some coarser ones — probably the funniest list of all; they’re on my R-rated blog. If you don’t have the address and want it, let me know.

* * * * *

Wendy needs your opinion on this.
There are some things that Wendy needs to know.

Funniest Clean Ones
1. Wendy needs a little time to dress her boy toy up and take him on parade.
2. Wendy needs to raise her voice to be heard. . . . Being hot and sexy is fun for a while, but it sure does get boring.
3. Wendy needs to crawl back into her hole and fade into history (that will never be remembered. Hurray!).
4. Wendy needs to die a slow, torturous TV death.
5. Wendy needs Steve to hold an intervention with Jimmy Mac.
6. Wendy needs me now . . . before it’s too late.
7. Wendy needs a whipping.
8. Wendy needs to get herself some Gavin.
9. Wendy needs something fruity!
10. Wendy needs her own show.

Wow! That’s Deep.
1. Wendy needs to revive her blog because we are all missing out by her being on blog hiatus.
2. Wendy needs to balance her supernatural abilities with quick thinking and resourcefulness.
3. Wendy needs to answer the question of equality.
4. Wendy needs a patient, loving home to help her realize that humans are not the enemy. After a harsh existence on the outside, it will take time to gain her trust. But there is nothing more rewarding than that moment when eyes once filled with fear gaze at you with love.
5. Wendy needs to witness both of these extremes at this important point in her life, so that she is able to find a middle path.
6. Wendy needs to see that Jesus Christ is the Messiah the Jews have been waiting for (I assume she’s Jewish, but I could be wrong).
7. Wendy needs now to be educated as a young woman, not a child.
8. Wendy needs rescuing, but only for a little while.
9. Wendy needs to find herself very quickly.
10. Wendy needs to come up with some new and diverse real facts.

Couldn’t Have Said It Better Myself
1. Wendy needs to get away for a while.
2. Wendy needs a place as remote and isolated as my ranch to stay for a while.
3. Wendy needs mental help.
4. Wendy needs your help.
5. Wendy needs donations.
6. Wendy needs to grow up.
7. Wendy needs to get a life.
8. Wendy needs to apologise some more.
9. Wendy needs to have the right things at the right time.
10. As if Wendy needs any help!

That’s News to Me!
1. Wendy needs to be nominated.
2. Wendy needs to pay a little better so that people with brains will want to work.
3. Wendy needs a new home and she will bring her own truck.
4. Wendy needs to KNIT.
5. Wendy needs help building a soccer field.
6. Wendy needs three people to get her out of a bad situation.
7. Wendy needs help, to the tune of more than Australian $50,000.
8. Wendy needs a zoologist.
9. Wendy needs a good plumber.
10. Wendy needs a new hiking partner.

Physical Needs
1. Wendy needs an overhaul.
2. Wendy needs sleep.
3. WENDY NEEDS TO GO!!
4. Wendy needs more HUGS!
5. Wendy needs to eat.
6. Wendy needs lungs and a heart.
7. Wendy needs to shut herself up.

Emotional Needs
1. Wendy needs a compliment.
2. Wendy needs to be assured by you.
3. Wendy needs someone to talk to.
4. Wendy needs a man—no, a gentleman.
5. Wendy needs a mommy.
6. Wendy needs a family who is fairly stable.
7. Wendy needs some practice with relating to people.
8. Wendy needs to get on with her own life and stop living in the past.
9. Wendy needs to be ashamed of herself.

Occupational Needs
1. Wendy needs a job.
2. Wendy needs proper training on how to handle stress in the work environment.
3. Wendy needs five personal assistants.
4. Wendy needs an editor.
5. Wendy needs to go back to selling fast food.

7 comments:

Julie said...

these are great... how did you get so many interesting things?!

Wendy Taylor said...

I'm obsessive, and I spent 2 hours of "free" time looking at pages and pages of Google entries. :)

Monaca said...

obsessive? i would say pathetic... but whatever helps you sleep at night :)

Anonymous said...

I quit looking after the first few pages of mine. Too depressing. (I did this a while back, maybe they're better now?)

Eric needs help
What Eric needs is an infrastructure
Eric needs... his own internal sense of who he is
Eric needs access to learning
Eric needs prayers (truer than anyone knows)
Eric needs around the clock nursing care
ERIC needs friends
Eric needs stitches
Eric needs time
Eric needs to finish what he is doing

Need I say more?

Anonymous said...

I forgot to mention...

Very wise to keep the R rated stuff elsewhere. I work with clients and it gets bad when they find things I've written. How much worse for a school teacher!!

Marybeth & I miss you and Steve. Give him our love, but keep a measure for yourself.

:-) EricS

Wendy Taylor said...

Thanks, Eric! We should come visit Evangel on a Sunday morning sometime soon.

P.S. I never knew you needed around-the-clock nursing care!

Charlotte Wyncoop said...

Charlotte needs far too many things. Fortunately, a greyhound, not I, had 28 teeth removed...